Pulwama & Valentine: This Vasant, shed your binaries like the dry leaves!

The flow of binaries in opinions that were manifest through the trends of personal space in the social media throughout the day is the reason I have chosen to write over such an unconventional topic. Amidst multiple pendency, choosing to throw it open unlike most of my writeups lately is not without the fear of being judged for my opinions. But as a note of caution, more on the part of request, I would be more than happy if you can help me improve my understanding rather than silently moving away. I wouldn’t reciprocate that anyway.

The best part of being open to learning in life is that you keep on moving every time you learn something new. Stiffness in thoughts and non-acceptance of other voices most of the times, are indicators that you have restricted yourself from novelty. We are bound to think in our limitations and it distinguishes us from all others out there. People are considered to be a product of their situations, of the situations that they come across and the situations that they make out of them. These deductions and considerations are generalisations, which unless one becomes hyper-idealistic, serve good to the worldly understanding of affairs.

The binaries and parallels that we draw in our lives are the by-products of our experiences and complexes. They are generally aimed to fill the voids that we feel within, to console our minds for our shortcomings, and at their best to feed our ego. These binaries, but are at times very disturbing in the sense that they don’t present the full picture and leave much of the gray area to be touched upon. They are incomplete in themselves, like the people coining and creating them, and they must be addressed if need be!

There are situations that are none of our concern, but if they affect people around, we must try dealing with them. The choice between Pulwama anniversary and valentine was one such situation. Why do we feel that we need to choose one among them? Had this been a couple of years back, I wouldn’t have been writing this. I had never been a great supporter of proving our loyalty to our relations through particular days. But my experiences have taught me to respect those who do.

The incident of Pulwama on the date last year was a blow to every Indian and a blot on our history so grave to be compensated ever. The trauma that the nation suffered can't also be ever forgotten. The sacrifices that our forces make can’t be ordinarily felt and expressed in words. They live life with a different outlook and service to them is larger than life. Supreme sacrifice for their people(citizens) is an ordinary course for them. While they count on their breathes on the high altitudes of Siachen, it is the memories of joy and thoughts of well-being of their families back home that keeps them motivated from within and warm in their hearts. We all form a part of them. We all are their families. When our forces stand in the line of their duty on the borders and amidst the internal disturbances, the safety and happiness of their people is their prime concern.

While we owe our safety and peace to them; they do this for us. Not out of any obligation but because of the love that they have for us. Being a ‘fauzi’ is more than just another 'Sarkari Naukari', and my personal experience of instances of being in the cantonments has helped me become a better citizen.

Valentine, on the other hand, is a tradition which we have acquired as a result of transmission, our interaction with the western culture; and technology has been a factor facilitating it. There are people who find it a way of expressing it to their loved one(s). The youth usually finds a hope in their disguise through this well-baked idea of western application with its extension to the Indian situations. (Before I proceed, this must not be taken as my consent and support to this tradition.) I may not agree to this concept and I may have reservations regarding it. But this must not be a reason for me to ‘categorise’ those who associate themselves with it.

I believe that we don’t look for people, but we come across them. To it's extreme, we can’t even control who should be our kins, we just get people with their predetermined roles and none of them comes to our life without a reason. Had I not chosen to go to a place, I would have probably never come across the people I deliberately chose there to be my friends, putting it simpler; imagine if I wasn’t destined to go there at all! Finding a love for the life within a weeks’ time may be tough for some, but this may be well enough for the aspirations of others. I generally associate myself to the former of the categorisations and believe that we would come across people who are meant to be in our lives at the right point of time. Interestingly, at times, even a sight or thought of a person may be sufficient be with them. Advaita has taught me to be samdarshi, to look at all the situations in the same objective spirit. What may lie in patience for some, may be in hyper alertness for others. What may be in pursuit for some, may be in being desperate for others. What may be a pious bonding for some, may lie in material objects for others. Some may find their love in one, and others in most of them out there most of the times. But in all these cases none can be held expressly wrong or right.

Advaita contemplates body and soul to be one. Our individual preferences determine the course we choose and I believe that though my reservations be there, others may also have their priorities and choices simultaneously. The respect for our forces should come from within and not out of compulsions. Remembering them and acknowledgement of their contribution must be in our minds all the time. Their families, their legacies should be cared the way they cared for us and this must be done at both institutional as well as emotional level.

They died so that we could celebrate. Happiness and sorrows are all within us. They died so that we could live together with love and happiness, keeping our sorrows aside. While we owe it to them, we must also keep on cheering our freedom in all senses as a tribute to them. Why can’t they celebrate Valentine and Pulwama anniversary together? Why can’t they have celebration along with the sense of obligation? Like in life, why can’t they be sad, but happy as well? Let’s make these binaries open headed so that they can be inclusive of the Indian spirit. This Vasant, try shedding some leaves to allow the new lot of greener ones to show up and grow!

(Facebook reminded me of this piece from the last year. This remains relevant amidst the unchanged narrative.)